My kids are making me fat.

Mommy moooommmmeeeeeee I’m hungry! Its 6:59am and they only wake up this early on days off from school. How convenient?!!! My 7year old eats like a 17 yr old and the youngest is picky but never too picky guzzle his juice.
These kids are making me fat!!!

Well I’ve had my morning smoothie so I’m good I feel great no over or emotional eating today.
Got my tea ✅
smoothie ✅

For my boys blueberry pancakes,eggs,juice, strawberries, and maple syrup….. 😩😩. I must taste all to ensure it meets the kids standards of course! Buttery blueberry with maple syrup dripping. One bite turned into 8 then and well I had devoured 4
To guzzle some of that smooth sunny Dee light. Now I feel played this was not what I had planned for my break fast after clearing out my gut and oil pulling this morning. Grrrrr OK OK don’t focus on what you have already put in your stomach. Okay well I’m good now I can stay on track.

After what seems like only 2 min is really 2 hrs of swimming we are all hungry. Im ready for my fruit and veggies. Preparing lunch; fruit,sandwiches, and chips water good balance and no junk!. Four sandwiches, bbQ chips banana and berries. By this time I be munched some celery , mango drank plenty sparking soda taken two bites of their sandwiches and eaten a handful of chips. Help! I’m always amazed at how my sandwich artistry has improved. Even spread variety of toppings gourmet trimming perfectly placed tomatoes and lettuce wah lah 💅. Chomp! chomp ! How could I resist? The kids are making me fat!!!!

Talk dirty to me but whisper please

Ooh yes I like that….no shhhhhh (places hand over his mouth)  Tell me what you like( in a hushed whisper) yes as a married couple we still have great sex 🙂

This seems to be our life with children has made us into undercover covert agents in the bedroom.  Our children bedroom being directly above the master bedroom has taught me to be extremely quiet while pleasing eachother.  Its sort of like a game, we used to just put all the fun to the side. Hurry through four play and wam bam thank you hubby.  Why should our sexcapades be halted just because our 3 yr and 5 yr old are sneaky ninjas that will pop up at your door giggling.  Hearing foot steps down your hallway and stopping in mid air while being sure to not move a muscle ( no matter the climax at stake).

Not only have we been discovered to be giddy couple in love by our boys.

“Mommy is daddy your boyfriend?” says my curious bright-eyed, inquisitive 3yr old.  His in charge older brother chimes in as he has taken this big brother big boy role to another level.  “No daddy is her husband not her boyfriend”. He proceeds to embarrass us all as he tells us we kiss and love each other a bunch.

It still amazes me what they notice and pick up on the affection for each another.  A kiss on the lips, slap on butt here, before we part ways has left them to the conclusion we love each other.  To the little peeping eyes from under the driver head rest as our morning tradition in saying goodbye for the morning has created my boys future relationships.

Words to heal

How do words help us heal. Pain that stalls words lowers eyes Staggering cries being ignored my judgemental eyes.  So we hide find darkness and pour our secrets out.  So many emotions bundled into words phrases into sentences. Memories peak into my vision my pens makes curves and loops spelling out how could you.  Wasn’t eye enough didn’t you see how much I was hurt.  Pen to paper sharing every hair raising detail girth and height.

Bad choices, first kisses, proposal, abuse happiness even rejection. Will you tale my words from experience don’t repeat my pain.

About

As a free queen my duty is to breath life, positive vibes,and love any chance I get.  To stand firm in what is love and to be mindful of my words.   My vision for us as women is to unite and to take back our role in the family. With the daunting task as creators of life, we sometimes loose track of our individuality.  With wiping tears suckling a baby rubbing our lovers back to being a daughter sister and confidant, we still must uplift one another. Encourage self to not loose sight of her needs and desires.  I hope to bring together the lost so we may share our triumphs, truths and experiences without judgement.  Teaching one another valuable skills we’ve come to take for granted. Such as caring for our children battling the work place while nurturing our children. Remaining true to ourselves while living for our families.  When you sit and think about all the women/mothers you know. Think about how they have helped you no matter how small. A universal woman with local ties.  Yearning to share my perspective on life and all the treasures it brings through words pictures and good energy.

Source: About

Broken

Fragile and light sad but right knowing what the end will bring makes it all seem pointless the devil is riding her pulling her hair wiping her make up until it smears feeding her twinkies and 40 ounces.  She only wants the nonstop emotion to stall her tears  to stop the hurt depression sadness heart wrenching regret to go away. For a moment in time so she can feel what ever happiness feels like again.The sun shines but a cloud follows her like a guy in the friend zone.  She can shake it but the rain never stops. Sunshine only passes by asking me to come with him. I cant my emotions wont stop choking me stalling me riding my back like a nagging door to door sales man.  Stop! think of happy things, well each moment has sadness attached. Slowly pulling her back down turning her smile upside down.  its in her eyes even when faking to make the others more comfortable. her dark sense of self always feels her entire being.  mystery secrets only left within her only she knows why or maybe not  so many times it has caused her to self destruct to end.

Gone girl

Alone, hiding looking for a darker corner. No mirrors the reflection isnt inviting. Turn the key lift the covers where did she go? Come out come out we aleady know.
Look up look down shes right in front of you check the mirror if she is unrecognizable. 3 Decades or more Ive been waiting at the door on you, unleash her.  From time to time she peeks to see if anyone notices. No one does…oh well back she goes.
Too fast too catch too slow to follow.Lackadasical and indifferent yet attentive, warm and hollow. Cold, focused unsure in her quest but she loves the unknown and ready for whats left.
Show being shown for the unknown to know love me now unfinished yet complete. Can you see me

Dreams

If you can envision it why not live it

All the souls telling me no dont do it

Bad idea just redo it Wait maybe next year

Why are you so worried it will still be here

Your so different weird and pertinent

Calm down why you take everything so serious

Its just words no one will get hurt

Just a kiss just a touch just a hit just a punch

Wake up you worry too much

THIS WOMAN

Be careful that woman has an army behind her

Negativity self hate abuse no longer a factor

Woman hold your head respect your bodies and love thyself

Nourish your temple take match with a God fearing loving protector of a man

Willing to carry you until infinite depths

Be careful all women have an army behind them

Some armies are quieter than others some with weapons some armed only with love

Be careful this woman has an army behind her

Filled with woman of her bloodline

All the pain lust and deceit fueling her fire

All the love trust and loyalty smoothing her touch the rhythm live and happiness move her hips

Time after time day after day even when the physical bodies are gone. Their shadows will wade in the distance surrounding her. Breathing constant life into me.

DAMAGE

DOES IT ALL MATTER WHEN THE LIGHT IS HELD NEXT TO YOUR FACE

WILL YOU SEE HER FOR WHO SHE TRULY IS

ALL THOSE ENDLESS NIGHTS AND EARLY MORNINGS IN YOUR ARMS

IT WILL BE OKAY I HAVE YOUR BACK EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE EVER DID NO ONE WILL EVER GET TOO CLOSE

MY HAND HELD HEAD HIGH EYES FILLED WITH TEARS AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU GONE

SO FAR ONLY A SHADOW LINGERS BEHIND

LEFT WITH ONLY MEMORIES ONLY SMELLS

 YOUR OILS AND SWEAT GRASP ONTO EVERY PIECE OF MATERIAL SHE OWNS.

OFTEN MISTAKING YOUR PRESENTS FOR YOUR ACTUAL PRESENCE

TASTING YOUR TONGUE AND SALTY SKIN SWEET LIPS 

NIGHT RIDES UNDER A STAR FILLED SKY NO ONE ELSE MATTERS NOW I KNOW WHY

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THE CREASES IN HER HEART COME FROM YOUR MOUTH

THE TWIST AND TURNS THAT HER LIPS MAKE WHEN YOU GRAB HER TO ONLY TEASE 

THE FIGHTS PAIN SCREAMING AND SILENCE BEND HER UNTIL SHE BREAKS

Perception

It seems as though my intentions weren’t intended for coffee and conversation

My body wanted to move by itself but my mind wasn’t persuaded

Whispers maybe tomorrow not enough time

It seems my mentions didn’t match my situation

Nodded my head to a  night of positive vibrations

But my hands wanted to travel

Feel the air and taste the love

Open your eyes take it all in

My plans didn’t matter my heart was shattered

Its me not you over the loud speaker

Not now next week or ever