Controversal conversations

Who cares what you want for me? Why do others feel the need to tell you what “they” think you should be doing?  For years I literally took  advice from whom ever seemed most successful at the time.  Whether it was an advisor in college a peer family significant other etc.  Imagine looking through the stained glass trying to understand exactly what you are here to do.  I used to shut my inner voice down with a quickness, because I knew once I voiced them that others would shut them down.Dismantling my confidence and momentum I had gained. Id tell my mother and her response was always scripted.

Mom:  Sigh now you need to do this…..If I could do it all over again I would do this……

Me: Well I was thinking of…. it would be perfect because I love…

Mom:  Well think with your mind not heart, that wont bring in money


Id tell my significant other and no response was just as bad as ego filled advice.  Or Id get that sigh that meant oh lord here comes the start never finish hippy with her ideas (eye roll).  My brother who I always thought was my spirit animal (lol) would agree. Well he’d entertain me but always mention what he thought was safe for me.  See how even people that mean well can crush your dreams.  So after years of roaming amongst many professions…..many student loans later and still no career that makes me happy.  Yes I was good at most corporate jobs but my stress was high, and my health was crap.  I was a shark doing whatever I could for a promotion. Stepping my friends being cut throat. I was mad at the people I listened too.  I was angry at myself for not following my heart.  I was mad at everyone that I thought was happy.

Until many moons later I stumbled upon my confidence along with my guts and my inner truth.  I woke up and walked away from it all…………..